Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize