I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
