11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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