Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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