Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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