Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
