Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
