i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There's always time for handjobs
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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