I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
