did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Found the puke drawer
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize