I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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