dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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