The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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