It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
only if we run a train.
done.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
