so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
you're hired as official boob wrangler
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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