Non-Jews are for practice
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
