you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
