i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
