D3 body, D1 cock
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
