god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
