I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
