Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
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I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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