Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
