if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm bleeding and have questions
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