**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
