I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
