This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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