i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
