Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
MIDGETS
????
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize