that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
