And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
