I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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