I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
