Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
