if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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