its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
