Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish life had little blips of pornography
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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