my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize