just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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