we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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