Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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