my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.