it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
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He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.