Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Shame - the story of my life.
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