We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
