shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize