Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
