You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
