He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize
