batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
What drink are we having for lunch?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
so much tequila, so little girl.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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