Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize