# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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