i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
