ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
