Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
