I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize