So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
