And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
