Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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