Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
