her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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