Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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