we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
